Meet the Team

management. the dancers are still rehearsing_

• 

  BRAD

  Founder & Proprietor

  Started as a man with a dream and a body of mostly meat. Traded up in 2025 — the hair and the attitude survived the transfer; the rest is aftermarket chrome. Signs the checks, greets the regulars, and gives every new arrival the thumbs-up he is physically unable to lower. The shirt is not merchandise. The shirt is a mission statement.

  directive: keep the sign on

• 

  FENTERBOT 3000

  Chief Operating Unit

  Assembled from a decommissioned ATM, a tax audit that achieved sentience, and a cap nobody is allowed to ask about. Fully operational where it matters — he will tell you this unprompted. Handles the money, the schedule, and the vendors, in that order of affection. Has approved exactly one expense request since opening night. It was his.

  ledger: balanced. mood: no.

• 

  L3ON

  Head of Security & Talent Relations

  Rural build. His mother drained horses for a living; his father was a John Deere. He does not discuss which half came from which. The conversion budget ran out at forty percent and he never rescheduled the second appointment. Settles disputes with a look. The only member of management the machines actually listen to. The overalls say BUILT NOT BOUGHT. Half true.

  left eye: recording. always.